April Fools

So I sent one more e-mail to the "Scott Productions" titled persistence.

The reply:

Happy April Fools Day!

So, I was right - but I had to see this through - it is what I am trained to do, it is who I am, and even though I am here in the Sultanate of Oman -- that part of me will never change. Can never change or I cease to be who I am. I'm a professional actress even though there is no work around me.

Someday I will live somewhere where there is work...of course by then I will have lost my youth...and Driving Miss Daisy has already been made. I guess we could remake it.

Is this a joke?

A very very cruel joke?

I just got a phone call for a very sweet man and he texted me an e-mail address.

Supposedly, Ridley Scott will be in Muscat tomorrow morning auditioning people for the Gladiator Sequel.

He found this in The Weekly.

I feel like this is some kind of cruel joke...Amber - you moved to Oman, You got fat, You let your acting skills go, You got all depressed because there would never be any opportunities for you...so now, as a result we are going to be casting a movie in Oman. One you would otherwise be great in if you hadn't let yourself completely go!

I e-mailed my information...thinking that perhaps it was a joke.

I got a reply.

"thanks for applying."

Thanks it!

All!

That means...we don't want to waste our time seeing you.

They are making a mistake...I could totally be thin again and buffed out in 2 weeks. And I'm probably the only person in the area who has actually been in front of a camera or on a stage.

I'm about to get persistent.

Anyone know where these auditions are being held tomorrow?

Let me know.

A true actress is relentless.

Oman Mobile

I went down to the mall and I paid 98 rial on March 24th for my oman mobile account. This account has both my phone and my husbands on it. Today I got a text message saying Dear Customer, you reached your credit limit. [R.O. 50] To avoid disconnection, please pay within 72 hours not exceeding 15 percent of your balance.

Originally I wanted to pay the bill online, but could not get that to work out. I called 1234 because I don't want my phone disconnected but I made sure that my bill was paid...I told them I didn't want to have to come back for a while. The lady barely spoke any english and says that my phone will not be turned off..."but it is no problem. If it is turned off you can just call this number."

Not if my phone is turned off.

weather

this weather WILL NOT stop me from getting to Dubai and then to Bali...I need this vacation...and I WILL get it.

This statement keeps going through my mind...over and over today.

The most beautiful part of Oman....

is actually under water!

I finished up my open water diving certification today. I saw so many fabulous sea creatures. Barracuda...sea turtles...pufferfish...angelfish...parrotfish...a huge stingray...tons of eels....lobsters - and no I didn't keep one, but the boat driver went skindiving to try and get one. He was unsuccessful.

It was so beautiful and amazing. I can't wait for Bali and I can't wait to get back to explore the rest of the Oman waters.

On a side note - I finally found a shop here who had the La Prairie microdermabrasion kit that I have been looking for. So, I microdermabrasioned myself...or however you say that. Last night. Didn't realize I was supposed to stay out of the sun for at least 24 hours afterwards...I'm burnt crisp....the upside is that I can see where I did the most thorough job because those places are the most red :) oh, and I got sea urchin nettle stung on one of my fingers...so that is nice and purpley.

Imagine...staring man...me...opening my purse...tossing flower petals and singing and dancing...red faced and purple fingered. It's gotta happen! I am looking forward to it! Who will the lucky starboy be? Will it be you?

aha! moment

It was high time...I joined a gym. I worked out there the other day and immediately felt better. I went back again today and worked out for a total of 2 hours! Feel excellent. I am going to a certain womens gym in my hood. It is rather small, but it makes up for that fact by packing in high quality, brand spankin' new equipment. I'm really happy with what is available there. 7 top of the line treadmills, 4 bikes, 3 or 4 ellipticals...but the weight machines...oh heaven!!! They are so smooth and easy to use. And I swear....I think I'm the only person who really uses them! All but 2 of the machines were set to the exact same weight as I used last week. All of the women get on the cardio machines. And they go slow. So slow. When I decided that I would alternate running and fastwalking for 2 minutes at a time...several heads turned and eyes opened wide. You can actually use the machines that way? Yep. You can and I will. I'm not sure why it is but no one there really seems to work up a sweat. Some of them also continue to wear their headcovers. I can't imagine trying to exercise with one of those on. I would try it to satiate my curiosity but I think they would think I was being offensive. Today there was one other person working out who spoke English. HOWEVER, my first time, a woman tried speaking to me...she rubbed my arm and said "something-something white, something-something arabic?" I think she was commenting on my skin and then asking if I spoke arabic. Sadly, I don't speak it well enough. I worry about that. I think it is exceptionally disrespectful to live in a country and not speak its home language...but I have a very very difficult time picking up languages. I should try harder though. Back to the woman...I think she was trying to be nice. I wasn't sure though. Afterall, I was the only "white" person there...maybe she was simply pointing that out to me. No matter. I enjoy the machines.

They sold me 5 ab/stretch classes for 15rial. Seems kind of steep...and it was. The instructor had no CLUE what she was doing. I attended today. She was doing the ab exercises way too fast. I could barely keep up, much less position myself the right way or use correct form. It was ridiculous. The funniest part of the class is that there were several other ladies who paid the same price for this class....and didn't even try. They were so whiney. These ladies didn't even bother trying. I at least tried...they just kind of laid there and maybe lifted a hand (mind you we were working on abs!) and not much else. It was ridiculous...and our instructor kept trying to get us to do increasingly more difficult things. She wasn't really paying any attention to the level of the class. I would modify something...THEN she would point out that the ladies could do that in lieu of simply laying on the floor. And she kept yelling "PUSH PUSH!" I'm not an advocate for poor instructors and group classes in general. The entire thing was disastrously humorous.

I still have 4 more classes that I have paid for. Anyone want them?

As I was doing the weight machines I kept glancing up at the TV's and I had one of those AHA! moments. I kept watching these music videos. And it dawned on me...when these guys (indian or whatever) stare at us...it is probably so that they can catch our gaze and they truly believe that at some point they too will have a music video moment. Eyes meet...the world becomes a glorious bollywood sexy landscape and all time stops as destiny takes over. They think this will actually happen for them! It has to be...too many of those videos are all the same. It is brainwashing the men...they really think that will happen.

So...I have determined that the next time some guy is giving me the "steady stare" and waiting for that music video moment...I will start singing and dancing, maybe throw some flower petals at him.

jealous

me = jealous of the people who are going to coldplay.

sigh...

David told me I could go...I just didn't think it would be wise to attend alone - or all that much fun. I couldn't convince any of my friends to fly over here.

In other news, I leave for Bali soon...and I am staying in this incredibly awesome villa with cooks, maids, butler, driver, 2 massage therapists that come for an hour everyday...2 pools...my own spa pavilion. I think someone should be jealous of me....just lathered on the self tanner for swimsuit prep and worked out at the gym for 2 hours. I'll be ready!

around town oddities

It is an interesting commentary that we are walking through stores in the mall and I have to tell my kids to cover their ears because the F-word is all through the music...and yet...this is the bad word grafitti I see...

It used to be so easy to give directions to my house. There were only 2 speed bumps along the beach road and I used to be able to say "turn on the street between them." Then they started adding more speed bumps. Now they added the one I like to call "the devil." This speed bump was insanely high. I regularly spoted metal pieces around it. I had to actually slow down ---way down for it. Now my car makes noises everytime I go over ANY bump. I think I did some definite damage. I was going to try and complain and get photos and take measurements, but when I went to do so...I guess Muscat Municipality realized it had a problem as half of it was already gone.


I love this bumper sticker...what is that about?

McDonald man says:

McD Man: What nationality are you?

Me: huh?

McD Man: Are you Jordanian? You look like you are Jordanian.

Me: No

McD Man: Armenian maybe?

Me: I'm American.

McD Man: Oh.


What does a Jordanian look like? And why do McD men think they should ask such personal questions? This isn't the first time. Maybe they have a contest going to see how many nationalities they can guess correctly. I don't know. Sometimes this is a weird weird place...

Parkerism of the week

Parker is 2, will be 3 in May.

P: Mommy! Mommy! (crying)

Me: Yes, sweetie, what is wrong?

P: It hurth...I bit my tongue...kith it, kith it!

Me: (pause) how about I kiss your nose?

P: No! Kith my tongue...it hurth...kith it! KITH IT NOW!!!!


I distracted him instead.

light up my life

I just stumbled on a great blog that said what I couldn't but wish that I could. Do you ever do that? And I feel totally inspired by it, but I worry that to use that inspiration it might sound too much like theirs thus ripping them off and no longer being my own, so...I won't even attempt it.

However, I will say that I am really glad that I get to be the kind of person that I am, do the things that I feel make me a better person and still have my children with me. I hope that by following my dreams I inspire them to follow theirs.

This is just one of the crazy places Madelyn ended up. She was 2 months old and I was preparing for my lighting design final. I believe my partner was Adam Todd...but I can't swear by it. Afterall, I had just had a baby...my thinking wasn't clear. Whomever my partner was, was out on the flimsy-ladder-of-death adjusting the lights. David was on the road and it was really late at night. Madelyn slept the entire time as we yelled back and forth about programming and synchronization. She was such a great baby like that - I could take her anywhere. She is probably the only two month old EVER to lay swaddled in a light booth. We got an A, of course!

Angelina's a star this week!

This is Angelina's star video. She is being featured at school as the 1st grade star of the week. Hopefully they will be able to watch this in her class. My dvd burner is kaput! I don't know what happened to it...but it is dead. I don't think I can even get a replacement here in Oman, but it is highly inconvenient. Everything in our house keeps dying. All of the lights are now out in my bathroom...? What is that about? My office bathroom lights are also all out. The other night I heard this huge pop and a lightbulb exploded all over the place in the hallway. And now there are ants in my house. We had problems when we first moved in...sigh...I am going to have to clean out all of the cabinets...put down some ant killer, let the ants die, clean out the cabinets again and line them and put everything back in. What a pain. I hate ants. Someone told me that we live in a big ant pile...perhaps that is the problem :)

trippingly off...

I recently took a quick jaunt back to my birth country of Texas. I went to be one of my bestest friends bridesmaids. It was a busy three days and hope that everyone who was around me can forgive my inability to be truly present...it was not easy to switch my days and nights completely...but I think that by the last night I had successfully switched. That night I had a lot of fun...dancing, singing, laughing, worrying for my friends ultimate happiness. What a plunge to take. Ashley was an absolutely beautiful bride. Next time I bring some bellydancing coin belts as gifts for bridesmaids I will not be silly and demonstrate wearing it on my head instead...as we all got mani/pedi's with them on our heads...we were asked for photographs. We are such weirdo's...but it was fun. The most fun of course was our random rendition of "walk like an egyptian" during the reception. No more details...although I feel like the video will probably be used as blackmail later. Here is hoping I have enough money to keep THAT underwraps :)

On the way to TX I lost my wallet in London. No money. No drivers license. I think that it was stolen while I was waiting to pass through security from those grey bins. They located it though...thank goodness. I was supposed to pick it up on my way back through - but alas...they made that impossible. They send it to terminal 3 and my flight was taking off in terminal 5 and they would allow me to go to terminal 3. So...they have to mail it - and I have little faith that I will EVER see my wallet again. My main worries of course are the cards...resident, oman DL, Temple recommend, etc. I really do NOT want to wait in the necessary lines here to get those things again. I discovered this of course after I got off of my plane and was sitting in a restaurant (having ordered the MOST expensive breakfast on the menu!) waiting for my connection flight. I couldn't eat anymore of it once I realized it was gone. I ran across the way and gave the lady in the money exchange booth every rial I had in my bags. It came out to be just enough to pay the bill, give a tip and pay for 10 minutes of internet time to send an e-mail my husband and anyone else that might have been able to tell him to check his e-mail alerting him to my wallet and cards being missing. And I feel at this juncture that I should give British Airways a review...they stink. I hated them. The seats were small, the food was infrequent and horrid when it did come. Their customer service was nonexistent. They did not help me at all...my wallet could have easily been recovered as soon as I realized it was missing if there had been anyone around to assist me. But there wasn't. It took my husband on the phone to get me the help that I needed. In addition, their security checks are ridiculous. Which is why I lost my wallet in the first place. I was so frustrated with the entire process. After having gone through 6 checkpoints between muscat and london and losing my wallet...then on my way down to the ramp for boarding I was pulled aside and frisked and my carry on disassembled...NOW - let me tell you, I know what I am doing when I go through checkpoints. I waited for an hour and a half while I watched about 60 people go through the checkpoint leaving on bracelets, wearing shoes with metal, forgetting to take off belts, getting to the point and ONLY THEN taking stuff off causing a greater wait...and every single one of those people beeped the machine and had to have the wand and manual hand inspection...and in london they don't turn the palm away. I was so disgusted with all of these idiots...I, of course, plunked my stuff on the conveyer belt, waited for the person in front of me to be checked over because they let the machines off (I think this was when my wallet was lifted - during the wait due to the idiot), and then walked right through without any problems...just to get "randomly selected" at my plane later!!!! I was angry! I asked how they pick people. I mean, I even didn't wear heels! That is something for me so that I could get through the checkpoints faster. Then the frisker asked "how are you doing?" At this point with my wallet missing, waiting for such a long time to get through the security point previously, not getting any help or assistance - I was about to COMPLETELY lose it. I said "I would be better if you could find the wallet that was stolen from me during the last check point!" I said it with fierce vehemence...and I gave her that look...the one brimming with hate. She didn't respond. Just went through my bag. She asked one question "is there anything sharp in here." I said "pens and pencils." through gritted teeth of course. But let's be positive - my wallet was miraculously recovered!

AND, some really great news!!!! When I opened up my suitcase to unpack from my trip - I FOUND MY ORANGE UNDERWATER CAMERA!!!! It had hidden in the fold of the inside of one of the pockets. Amazing stroke of luck! So now I can take pictures again! Yippy skippy! My children can start growing again...they weren't allowed so long as I had no way to document it.

Other good news - I brought my violin back with me. I decided I needed a new violin case with a hygrometer to help me keep track of the humidity/temp that the violin was getting. Violins have been known to completely bust open due to weather changes. I couldn't get one in Texas while I was there and I was prepared to spend around 700 or 800 dollars for one. I was really worried about my violin making the trip back here - but it did splendidly. I became more worried about not being able to monitor and assist in the violin's livelihood here as far as temp and humidity is concerned. I decided just to check in that music store called Tunes. They first presented me with this humongo case called "GATOR" and it was heavy and NOT equipped with the dials. The boy behind the counter told me that was my only option. I asked if they had anything not so bulky. The lady heard this and said "check de brown one dere." He brought it to me...it was nice looking. I asked how much. She said 10 rial. He wiped the dust off. I wasn't expecting much at this point. He opened it up and lo and behold! It had a hydrometer and a temp gauge!!!! And a beautiful blue inside. This was definitely an expensive case. I asked - "10 rial?" "yeah, 10" "really? Are you positive?" "yeah, yeah, 10". I totally felt like I was stealing from them...that is a little less than 30 us dollars. And it was exactly what I wanted and needed. Insane.

Radio and help wanted

I do not understand the main expat radio station here or how it works. I keep hearing the same songs over and over again. UNLESS they throw in the occassional really lame-o song. Yesterday there was this really stupid song called : "Buddy, My Friend." It was like some 80's anthem rap but sing songy. It was wretched. I listened out of pure curiosity to figure out HOW it got on the airwaves. If my ipod is dead, I often listen with the intent of figuring out how some of this music makes it on the radio. Some of it are knock offs of current popular songs. Like someone downloaded a karaoke version - recorded their own voices and sent it in to the radio station. I question whether this kind of music and methodology is a british or an australian thing? I worry that when I return to America I will be so out of the loop as far as music is concerned...but mostly, I wonder if I should launch my own singing career over here - they seem to be more accepting of low quality products.

NOW - on to my real problem. I leave for America in a few days to attend one of my bestest friends wedding. I am a bridesmaid (who will in fact be wearing a pashmina when not required to expose my blubber) and we are having a nice brunch in the park for our beautiful bride. We are to present a song or poetry to her while there. There are no requirements regarding whether it should be touching or funny. I personally want something from the heart. I'm not much of a poetess :) and I don't really write music, but I have no problems rearranging. However, we will be in a park, so no instruments to speak of. So, I will obviously be singing to her (even though I am so sick right now) but I want to do something that is so tender and kind and let's her know how much we all love her and want the best for her. YET - nothing seems quite good enough. Any ideas? Help. please! Or I will end up singing gimme, gimme. really, HELP! I leave tomorrow....