unphotogenic...

It is becoming a problem not having a real camera. Sometimes I borrow David's work camera (shhhh! Don't tell!) but it takes horrible pictures. To top it off I don't have any of the cords to take the pictures off of it with me. This summer I had the cords for my video camera - but now, in this cramped hotel room I can't find it. Soooo...I can't even video. I know some of you are requesting that I post pictures but instead you should be making camera recommendations. Simply post what you like. I have only a few requirements. 1) It must be easy to use. Options are always fun, but when I'm travelling and being a mom my goals are to just get some shots as I often forget. A step further than that and I fall off the deep end. 2) It must take good, vibrant photos. The last few cameras I have had simply didn't do that. Sure, one of them could go underwater and admittedly that is cool and useful sometimes, but it took only ok pictures...now I just don't know where the battery is or the cords and something on it broke....sigh. 3) It must be pretty durable...afterall I...errr, the children, break things. And lastly, I wish they had bluetooth cameras so that I could just set the camera down beside my computer and all of the images would just transfer instantly...so if you know of anything with that kind of technology, please let me know...I'm willing to pay for that - afterall it is one less cord for me to misplace.

a wink and a nod

We went to the zoo the other day and I walked across the path to gaze at some macaws and when I turned around I panicked. Oh my goodness! This had never happened before! There were SO MANY TALL PEOPLE! Usually, I can quickly pick out my husband because he is the tallest in the bunch. I never have any fear of being lost. I suddenly felt misplaced as there were at least 2 men in the crowd taller than him and about 4 the same height. He didn't immediately pop into my line of sight as usual. It was odd and I'm going to have to get used to it because some of these people here are HUGE! How do you like those odds? Who would have guessed David could find a land in which his height is not extraordinary?

We also beat the odds in that we were able to go on a date night when we didn't even know anyone to babysit. Here's what we did: We went to Ikea. They will keep the kids for an hour. We dropped them off to play and realized it was time for an impromptu date. A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do...

And to close out this entry I have a strange behavior to report. The dutch men keep winking at me. I don't know why...they just do.

Dare I wink back to see what happens?

Interesting things so far

Since we have been in the Netherlands we have gotten to experience several things:

*I have a camera and I try to take pictures, but sometimes we are moving by too fast, or they are moving by too fast or someone moves in front of the camera too fast....This is a busy city! Everywhere there is hustle and bustle...which makes my next comment so odd...

*Even though everyone is so active here, riding bikes, jogging, walking, etc...shops close at 5. How do people who work shop? It is insane when things close here. If it rains, they close down even earlier...uhhhh...it rains pretty much every day here. So getting a phone took me a few days due to my inability to figure out the times or what shops to go to.

*I still don't have my official phone as a phone plan takes a residency card which we don't have yet. So, I'm using a prepaid phone that looks like a toy. I'm not kidding. It's pretty funny. I enjoy talking on it because I look so ridiculous.

*My children are all in school. Parker is in school. They ride the school bus. The school bus is a nice van with a super nice driver. I feel really good about putting my kids on the bus, knowing they will be safe and happy and to school in 10 minutes...but my heart still manages to break every morning. Luckily, my heart is mended as parker leaps from the sidedoor into my open arms.

*We are living in a hotel. The Novotel Schiedam...it is one of a few hotels that have joining rooms. The others don't. We don't have air conditioning and in my old lady hormonal ways...this is bad for me at night if the wind isn't blowing just right through the open window...I can't sleep because I sweat instead. The bus picks them up from our hotel. As soon as we move the bus driver will change...I hope I'm just as happy.

*Parker has started pulling his pants down and showing his bum when he is unhappy with someone. He does it to his sisters and they reported he did it to a boy on the bus. He is subsequently popped on his behind every time...and yet he still persists. I can't help but wonder if the disney channel taught him this or cartoon network...the FORBIDDEN cartoon network.

*Housing...see my last post on the ridiculousness.

*Parking is extremely difficult to find here. Oh, it is available, but you have to pay for it. I don't mind paying for it, but you have to do it with a special card. You can't just put in coins or dollars, you have to have something called a chipknit. Without a chipknit life is pretty near impossible here. You even buy groceries with it. If you don't use a chipknit card to pay for your parking you get one of these:

Euro 80 ticket.

YIKES!

*They have beautiful trees, grass, windmills, sheep, cows, horses (I swear we saw some clydesdales the other day!)

*They have yummy steak here. REALLY! I was expecting cruddy steaks, but every single steak I have eaten has been well worth the price.

*Dinner takes forever to eat though and service is atrocious. I understand why people eat at home a lot here, because it sucks up your entire evening to eat out...

*BAD HAIR here...on everyones heads, but mine as well. I CANNOT seem to get it under control. Super frizz. I bought some new products yesterday so maybe that will help otherwise I will be curling my hair or flat ironing it into submission.

*Yummy cheeses. Weird Dr. Pepper. It doesn't taste right.

*Our first official form of ID here? Our zoo pass. Well worth it, well worth it! They have an amazing zoo here!

*There is a temple here

and it is not far from where we live. Now we just have to get a house and a trustworthy babysitter.

That is all for now...I will try to get the pictures off of my camera soon so you can see some.

Hunting

I haven't gotten to spend too much time getting to know my new temporary country. I have been spending most of my time in the trenches hunting for a new home. Wow...it is difficult here. If it isn't one thing it is another. SOMETHING is wrong with all of them. There is not one perfect house out there...and by that I mean these houses are missing things like sinks to wash hands in the toilet rooms. Not little things. Or an entire floor of bedrooms and not a single toilet on that floor and tiny steps that I foresee children tumbling down also resulting in potty accidents AND covered in carpet. See the problems here? Or a house that would be great if you didn't have to park 2 full miles away. Or houses that would be great if we were allowed to see them, but because of the company that runs them we are not. We have lots of options here that I was originally excited about. We have traditional dutch, contemporary/architectural, minimalistic, eclectic as well as houses over water. LOTS of styles, but one after the other I have tossed them aside because of one reason or another. I mean who builds a house of 7 bedrooms and puts in only 1 bathroom? WHO DOES THAT? Who builds a gorgeous kitchen and then puts an oven in that you can barely fit your hand in? Certainly not big enough to even cook 4 chicken breasts. INSANE! INSANE INSANE! Apparently we got here after the big housing turnover and we are left with....leftovers. The houses no one wanted because there is something strange about them.

So, I have been busy. Busy rejecting residences. Today I think I made a decision, but now I'm worried I made the wrong one. No matter what we will have to pay more than the company is allowing us. Will it be a home I can invite people to stay in? Will it be a home that my children can feel the spirit and feel like they have a refuge from the world outside? Will it be a home we all love to come home to?

SO MUCH PRESSURE!!!!!

Because this time it isn't just for one year, but two.

A Puppet

Madelyn: Mom! Look at the puppet I made at school today!

Me: What are those yellow things supposed to be?

Madelyn: Puffed sleeves (said as if I should have known!)

awww...the innocence! I love it! I'm so glad we have managed to protect it thus far. It has been worth it.

motions

Without fear, without hesitation they step forward. One foot lifts and the weight transfers to the other. Touchdown. The other lifts and the weight transfers back to the original foot. Perhaps their eyes should be searching their new surroundings or their ears listening for sounds unknown, but they aren't because it is familiar even though it is new. Instead their minds are working to control the anticipation of seeing their father and calming their jittery, buzzing bodies to hold them in one place while I extract the luggage from the conveyer belt. One of them guides the empty metal cart to my side and holds it steady while I lift and haul our goods onto it while the other holds the little ones hands and helps him adjust his backpack so it won't tip over. Silent. Words aren't needed to perform these actions because they are second nature. From start to finish there are no real surprises. Every time it goes like this: We get our tickets, we go through immigration, we go through a scanning machine, we go to a gate, we wait some more, we get on a plane, we watch some tv, we eat, we sleep, we use the bathroom, we wash our hands, we go back to sleep, we eat some more, we land, we get our luggage ready, we brush our fingers through our hair, we get in line and leave the plane, we follow the lines of people, we listen to mommy and stay close, we show someone our passports, we go through another checkpoint and scanner, we find our next gate, we stop to use the bathroom, we smile and ask nicely for a treat and get one, we wait, we get on a bus, we get on our plane, we drink a drink and eat a snack, we land, we gather our things and get off, we get in more lines and go through immigration and we finally end up at the baggage handling where we realize we have finally arrived. This time we are in the Netherlands. Even the young one knows where we are and what this means. This means daddy will be with them soon. Everyone is speaking a strange language and their surroundings are entirely new...but nothing can possibly sway their thoughts off of the same path their feet just followed to put our family back together again. Rooted deep inside of them is an impulse to stay together no matter the distance, no matter the cost, no matter the challenge. Everything seems easy and necessary when compared to separation. While some children would complain that they will be leaving their friends, these children are saddened briefly but revived by the thought that they will be adding new ones. While some would worry about where they will live and where their things are, these just make do with what they can carry, which is quite a bit this time as they are now bigger and older and stronger. They are not only stronger physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. They push on, step forward and take strides the length of which are only rivaled by a giraffe trying to outrun a lion.

They ARE courage...

and they are mine.

They keep me strong and they remind me of what is important. I hope my feet are as sure as theirs and my mind as purely driven.