I didn't fall

The girls started ice skating lessons, so I thought I would as well. I take when they are in school. They don't see how much I fall. My very first time out on the ice, I hit my head. It was awful. I saw spots. When I am with them skating, I don't fall. Of course, I don't try any of those tricky crossover thingys...you know, where you cross one foot over the other and turn in a circle. I just skate along, guarding my pride. My girls say "wow! Mom, you are such a great skater!" If only they could see my knees, calves and that spot on my head that two weeks later is still tender and sensitive to the touch.

How long will they be this easily deceived?

The other day, we finally convinced Madelyn that she needed to pull her first tooth. They have been loose forever, but now a new big one is popping through. One of our big arguments was that the toothfairy couldn't come until she lost her tooth. Madelyn is in Kindergarten and 6 years old. Angelina, has already lost several teeth, so the toothfairy has visited our house numerous times already. Madelyn was very disturbed and didn't want to lose any of her teeth. She looked at me and said "Mommy, my friend on the bus says that the toothfairy isn't real and neither is....(quivering lip, watery eyes and trembling voice) Santa Claus!" I was one furious and hot mama at this point. I said "well, sweetie, what do you think?" she replied in a pained voice "yes! He is real!" I asked how old this so-called friend was and her name...9! This kid is 9! And taking away all of the things that make childhood so wonderful, delightful and full of wonder and joy. There is enough pain in the real world...that I just want to allow my children to be children for as long as possible and this little twit on the bus wants to take it away before Madelyn even loses her first tooth! Grrrrrr! When she finally lost her tooth....she wanted to save it for show and tell instead of turning it into the toothfairy right away. The tooth was subsequently lost even though it was in a ziploc bag and marked "MADELYN'S TOOTH." She wasn't able to bring it to show and tell, so I told her to smile and tell. Finally, I located the tooth. Unfortunately, the tooth fairy must have been super busy that night (yikes! BAD MOMMY!) and once the initial shock of the toothfairy wore off, Madelyn found that the toothfairy had left a note explaining that in the future the tooth needs to be turned in the same evening and left her the money as well as the tooth to bring to her next show and tell. She believed it. How long will this last?

Angelina's belief system is different...though also rooted in questioning. I think she suspects the reality, but promotes the dream. I saw this look on her face when Madelyn was telling me about what her friend told her. It was an ancient look of knowing, but not saying anything...allowing the fantasy to exist. Which saddened me as well. Angelina is only 7. Angelina still tries to stay awake as long as possible to catch the tooth fairy, Santa or the house fairy when she comes. How long will that last? Sometimes I worry that they just play games with their crazy Mommy...that deep down they know and they just put up with it. They are far too young for that though.

And then there is Parker...who genuinely and wholeheartedly still believes that if he gets hurt, the ONLY remedy is for me to kiss it. And no matter how bad the hurt (really!), if I simply kiss it - it is all better. No matter what. How long will that last? Oh, the sweet innocence!

So, my children don't see me fall when I am skating with them. I still let them know that I do ....but they don't believe me. So, I guess the real question that I should be asking isn't how long they will believe, but rather how long will they hold onto childlike things before condemning them to silliness and futility?

This is all so sad.

And I used every bit of my self restraint not to barge onto the bus the next day and tape that child's mouth shut!