A new endeavor

In case anyone is still reading this, I am part of a new initiative called Hearts and Hands for Nepal. Our main goal is to help rebuild Nepal.
I know - LOFTY, right?

But totally doable! We have a secret weapon - the people of Nepal.

Lucky for us, Terah used to live there and has some pretty cool connections. The problem that happens during times like these is that first - people try to help in all the wrong ways too soon. This is a great article referencing this very issue

:http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/apr/27/earthquake-nepal-dont-rush-help-volunteers-aid

Despite wanting to go help RIGHT. NOW. It is not very mindful.

The key is to be mindful. So, with the help of people in Nepal, who are also working with some of the big charities and also know the smaller issues we are able to fill a very tiny sector of need.

Our first goal is to help rebuild a school in a little village outside of Kathmandu. Now, this plan might change because perhaps there is something more needful. We will totally keep all of our followers (whether you donate or not!) informed.

Why not just volunteer with the big charities or send my money to them? Well...that is complicated. First off, I looked into many. Some I will publicly endorse as being the genuine article and some I will not. Mostly though, I was able to look at the big picture and see that there would be holes in the service rendered. Right now, Kathmandu (the major populace) will receive a large portion of help, but the smaller outlining towns generally will not. After the big rush of aid things will slow down and it is there - right in that place - that I personally feel needs some help and it is someplace I can step in and help. This will give us time to get organized so that we are not a liability or in someone's way when we do go. We can land on the ground with a plan and fully prepared for what might lie ahead. With other charities I just don't know if things will work that way...I have loads of questions for them that I feel like they probably would not be able to answer...but I can answer them all for myself because I am the one helping to make the decisions. So, I found myself with a friend who had the same concerns starting an initiative. One of my greatest desires though was to donate my time and efforts, not just my money. I can plan this out and actually do it.

This is a journey though. Like me, people are skeptical. At this point we have gotten an email, chosen a name, started a blog and a facebook page...but there is still so much work to get this up and running. If you know anyone that would like to help us set up an incorporated charity and a 501c3, do send me a shout. I'm looking at all of the steps right now, which seem nearly impossible from Germany. So, it may have to wait awhile until I return to the states. With that being said - we just wanted to start. This is our project. You can go along the journey with us just to see what we might be able to accomplish or you can help by donating. A dollar goes a long way in Nepal. So, please don't think that your spare change isn't enough. Start collecting it and we can arrange to get it from you. It might be enough to build a window frame! You never know.

I come from a line of builders. My grandfather was a contractor and built houses, I grew up with a hammer in my hand. My husband is an engineer. We will not go to Nepal without a proper plan in place that will be sound and 'nepali' approved. We are not looking to change their culture, so please don't expect a cathedral..we will build what they are accustomed to. I can do this kind of work - I have the background. I am willing to do this kind of work, I just need supplies and to locate a village who might not otherwise get their schoolhouse built before the cold winter hits.

Please stop by heartsandhandsfornepal.blogspot.com and see what is going on. Right now we have a teensy bit of information up and we are working on solidifying plans and getting more details. As we go along with the planning process there will continual updates and ideas. We are always open to thoughts. Feel free to email us at heartsandhandsfornepal@gmail.com if you have suggestions, want to volunteer a skill we might need or have question.

Amber

Bad Habits No S'More

 In January, I did this activity with my girls. It was called Bad Habits No S'More and I totally borrowed it from this blog:  http://goforwardwithfaith.blogspot.de/2011/08/bad-habit-bonfire.html#more   .  Ummmm...I'm not sure HOW to make that without the entire address. I haven't learned that yet as a blogger.

It turned out pretty great. We modified it. I didn't know what the laws were in Germany about making bonfires so as you can see I just made a minibonfire with tealights.

They were very careful and I made sure the oven hood was on!

You can see that some of our bad habits have been burned up here! That was...a little bit dangerous but no one got burned.

And then, yep! I made them roast marshmallows over the tealights. Don't do it. It doesn't work. I lit some bigger candles for a bigger flame.

Now, we burnt up some bad habits that night. It was great! Sometimes when you move to new places you pick up bad habits.

Like, using the word 'like', like all the time!

Or not looking when you cross the road.

Or depending on rice krispie cereal to just be available and so not stockpiling.

All of these things can cause problems!

BIG PROBLEMS!

Like, your pre-teens forget how to speak a sentence in completion. Or your preteen gets hit by a car while crossing the street in front of your house (don't worry, she is fine!...but still! more on this later) and they suddenly stop selling rice krispies that are not chocolate. WHO DOES THAT!?!  The entire country of Germany, that's who!

Or you work really hard on making sure you don't diet or complain about your body in front of your kids and then one day your super skinny daughter starts complaining about how fat she is! WHAT?!?! Wait a minute! We don't even have a scale in the house. I don't emphasize weight or let them know how I'm not exactly the way I want to be. So when I hear this...I have to wonder where I went wrong! I have contemplated this for weeks now and suddenly this morning I woke up and knew the answer. Just because I don't complain about being slightly chubby doesn't mean that my children DON'T SEE IT FOR THEMSELVES! Shock! Horror! Hand to the forehead! So my habits need to be reexamined. I can get rid of the extra sweets and I can work out more.  This little bad habits no s'more lesson...I'm taking it on literally! No S'mores for me! I need to health up! I'm still not going to complain about my weight...I'm just going to change it. And I'm going to emphasize to my beautiful daughters that they are beautiful and healthy. And I'm going to make sure they are healthy because I want to be a good Mom! I really do!

My chia seeds arrived today and I'm dusting off my juicer! And I'm bookmarking Physique 57 and doing one EVERY SINGLE DAY! And I'm wearing my workout clothes until the exercise is done. And sometimes I will have cake when I'm really good.

I love teaching my girls fun things...I always learn something in the process.

Schule-poo

I ripped the kids out of school, because, hey! they weren't learning anything anyway.  Stupid school.  At least 2 years behind.  123+321 was an actual problem my fifth grader had for homework at the end of the year.

I did everything by the book.  I selected a school with high principals and a mission statement that would knock anyone's socks off.  I visited the school, I asked questions.  I got answers.  They promised that they worked with each student individually on their level.

But in the end it didn't happen.  My kids were actually tutoring the other kids and learning nothing new.  They were bored out of their minds.  I spoke with the teacher.  I spoke with the teacher again.  I gave recommendations to the teachers.  I started supplementing at home.  I expanded the given assignments.  Still...nothing was being taught or expected of my children.  They would turn in a poo paper and the teacher would write "brilliant" on it...thus ruining my directions that they needed to do their best regardless of what everyone else's best was around them.  I went to the principal.  I went to the superintendent.  In the end, everyone agreed.  Their school just wasn't able to provide my children with a decent education.

But here is what the school taught my children:

to be disrespectful.  They had no discipline problem so children just acted out without any repurcussions.  As you can imagine this resulted in a terrible learning environment as the teachers were never able to teach.  Slowly small misbehaviors slipped into my kids.

low work capacity:  work?  Effort?  what are those?  My kids forgot that expectations are set a little high so that they have to reach up to meet them.

Laziness:  my kids got lazy.  No matter how much I harped on "do your best!" and told their teachers that I expected better...in the end, my kids could turn in some effortless piece of junk and be told that they were amazing!!  Weeeeee!

loss of critical thinking skills:  I don't know how it is possible to unlearn your ability to learn.  But it happened.  My kids don't know how to process information anymore.

contention:  never has there been so much contention and fighting and huffing and puffing.  You wanna know why?  Because I wouldn't tolerate any of the above in my home!  I supplemented.  I gave my own assignments.  I sat down and wrote papers with them.  I forced them to read age appropriate books.  I told them that their teachers were full of crap when they gave them good grades on poorly done assignments.  I wouldn't take the attitudes.

In the end...the big result was that our family had met it's capacity for challenges.  It didn't help that our landlord NEVER fixed anything in out home.  That wing with the pool?  Unusable the entire time.  Our trashcans were still the mini size for 2 person families...and we had 6 people!  Church?  Well, let's just say it is difficult to learn anything when you are listening to it in a foreign language half the time.  Also, the same behavior issues at school existed in church...because it was a Bremen thing apparently.  I realize that someone may read this from church and think I'm a horrible person for saying it...but you recognized the behavior issues yourself.

We prayed and decided we couldn't stay there any longer.  So, we checked out the other nearest international school, we developed a backup plan for us to move back to the states and we tried in vain to get permission to do an online american school program.  In the end the best solution was for us to relocate to Hamburg if the company would allow it.  After pushing for an answer for months we finally got one the day before school started...we could move.

We didn't have a house and the school was over an hour away.  But we went.  They just happened to have places for our kids...which was a miracle.  Unheard of.  I drove that drive every day with a 2 year old in tow.  I hung out until school was over and volleyball practices were done in the evening...with a 2 year old.

A TERRIBLY UNHAPPY TO BE IN THE CAR TWO YEAR OLD.

So, I did what I didn't want to do with this loving and attached child...I enrolled him in a part time preschool.  He hated that at first, too...because I wasn't there.  Eventually he grew to love it.

Now we have a lovely house.  My children report that this school is much better and the kids are better behaved!

We have seen improvement in our children's attitudes.

But there is still ironing out to be done.

The main problem with this arrangement is that my husband drives every day to work in Bremen.  And he gets home sometimes after the kids have gone to bed.  And he leaves before they wake in the morning.  But at least we have the weekends.

I'm pretty much a single mom most of the time, though I have done that role before.  I just hate it.

I bet you are asking the question I ask myself all the time...how did we get here?  I don't know.  I think I put my foot down in the beginning, but no one took it seriously.  I showed them that I was serious, and they still didn't take me seriously.  I should have jerked them out sooner.  But I wasn't anxious to split up our family.

I keep evaluating the situation trying to learn from it.  I think I learned this...when it comes to my children and their education and salvation, I am in charge.  Even if we currently live in a country that thinks THEY are in charge that is wrong.  I am in charge.  No amount of bullying or telling me that it isn't my right to be concerned over my children (and yes!  that was said at both school and church!) is going to slow me down again.  I kind of let these attitudes put the breaks on my actions and in the future there just isn't time to lose when it comes to my children's education or spiritual upbringing.

I'm in charge!

I'm their parent!

And I'm not sticking around to find out if you improve once you have shown me you aren't good enough.  If I do, then I have learned nothing from this experience and I'm not a very good parent.

So, now we are in Hamburg!

Zoobidoobidoo

So, once again we get sucked in.  We can't help it.  Where there is a zoo there is a way.  A way to be yearly pass holders.

Helps to experience what it is to be caged like an animal.

 What zoo have you ever been in that lets you pet the pelicans??

 This one was grumpy about it.  We would see this diva face a few times.

 Hungry hungry hippo!

 The Germans think Armadillos are meant to be trained to follow you, chase a ball and eat out of your hands.  Ewww.  Disgusting.  They definitely carry diseases...a Texan would never willingly interact with one of these.

 Very proud to get to hold the ice cream cone.

 Panning for gold?  That's right!

 A joey?  Holland is determined to catch it.

 There is one up on that hill, so he jumps the fence...oh boy.  We are in so much trouble with this kid.

 This is just one tiny portion of the playland for the kids...

isn't it dreamy?  I didn't get a picture of the creek they can wade in and all of the other nifty things.  Next time.  We have a year pass now...we have to come back at least once to make it worth the purchase.

Spring has Sprung!

Germany is beautiful in the springtime.  This spring we have put a little bounce in our step with the addition of a trampoline.  Since the spectacularly loser landlord has not fixed the indoor pool after a full year, we have to have some other distractions.

Holland is such a little mechanic.  He loves putting things together and building.

 And he's no fool, he knows the difference between real tools and pretend tools.  He only wants the real ones of course.

 Yes, my backyard has now been taken over.  I wanted it a little further to the left in that corner you can't see, but I got overruled.

 Brother bounce time with daddy.

 Holland is my cool helper kid.  He loves to be a part of everything.  If he isn't you definitely hear about it. This is what happens if he is not allowed to do something:

but we prefer him this way:

It is so hard to believe that this is how little he was when we first moved in this house.  I remember his crawling outside and thinking "THIS is where I want him to learn how to walk" and he did.

Adventures with Parker

Me:  so, Parker, what kind of music do you like to listen to?

Without hesitation, Parker: Rock.

Me: really? ( knowing that I don't listen to real rock on the radio and ever curious) what do you consider rock?

Parker, again without any hesitation: the black eyed peas.

Me: (busted gut laugh that soon stops because he is as serious as can be) blahahahaha...ooooooh.  Ahem.  Well, what songs do you like of theirs?

Parker: Pump it!

Me:  (feeling very old and whipping out my iPhone to look it up) I don't know that one.  Wherever did you hear it? (Finding it and noticing there is an explicit version and a radio version)

Girls: oh mom, it is his favorite wii Just Dance song.

Me: (worried about what they might be listening to in my own home that I am unaware of) does it have bad words?

They actually pause to think before telling me no.

My little Parker rarely is so specific about the things he likes so I purchase the song and plug it in to the speakers. And he starts dancing this very choreographed dance and then does some freewheeling floor spins.  Hilarious.

He tells me he is break dancing....to rock music.  And he is as serious as can be.  I love that kid.

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This morning he walked out the door with one glove on and what appeared to be chocolate smeared on his face.  I let him.

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Parker went to a friends birthday this week.  He took 30 minutes to pick out the perfect Lego set for his friend.  We had 8 sets lined up on the floor for him to inspect.  I'm glad no one came by because we were totally blocking the aisle while we waited for his decision.

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Yesterday at church Parker was trying so hard to be reverent (which is really difficult for him) and some little boy walked up to him before class began and pretended to slit his throat.  Parker just sat there with his arms folded and pretended the little boy wasn't there.  I couldn't though.  I told him Parker was trying to be reverent and to sitzen down.  Parker has a friend at school that wants to blow the school up.  And if I tell anyone about his plan he will shoot me with his guns.  The little boy told me this at school one day.

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The moms at school pride themselves on teaching their sons to beat up other kids.

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Between the throat slitters, school bombers, bullies, crazy parents...I'm still glad that my 6 year old likes to dance, spends time picking out a special gift for his friend and can walk it the front door with one glove and chocolate on his face.  How quickly the innocence is lost.  I'll keep his as long  a possible please.

An Apple a day keeps the doctor away...

I'm convinced.  I have some tiny issues.  The biggest one is that my computer, phone and ipad all work together.  But when one breaks...Agggh!  I feel like a crazy person.  Thank goodness I somehow did a small update to my calendars or I would be totally lost right now.  I recently went back to the states for a certification program (which was super enriching!) and someone dropped my computer on the ground at the airport.  I was on one side of the metal detector and he was on the other.  He apologized, picked it up and left.  My Macbook Pro was smashed.  The entire frame had to be replaced.  I called Apple services right away and told them the entire tragic story.  They said there was nothing that could be done...this wasn't covered in my warranty.  Are you kidding me?  What did I buy it for, then??  It was suggested that I try the store.  Well, I was in this class that went all day.  I had hardly any time to myself.  Outside class time was meant to be spent learning lines and rehearsing and generally catching up with old friends who I hadn't seen for awhile.  No.  Not for me.  I was to get a taxi down to the mall (20ish $ each way) and get this computer fixed.  I entered the Apple Store.  I was greeted by a greeter and explained my problem.  He was SO attentive.  Before I knew it, the entire store knew the tragic story behind my beautiful computer's demise.  I was told there were no appointments for an inspection and I would need to come back the next day.  Sigh.  I still knew nothing and was feeling very discouraged. I facebooked about it and some people suggested saying whatever it took to get it fixed.  I didn't feel right about that. The next day, though, my friend Cecelia brought me and before I knew it the guy had disappeared to the back and returned.  He told me they were going to cover me because I had been honest and could have lied.  They said they would eat the cost.  BUT it would take them several days to get in the part that was needed.  I would have to leave the states without my computer.  Panic!  My friend volunteered to pick it up and ship it to me.  Wow.  I don't know what I would have done without her.  She is amazing and lives 90 minutes from this place too...it would not be easy for her to pick up and ship.  Well, after returning home, I got a message from Cecelia.  My computer was ready!  BUT it still wouldn't close properly and another part would need to be replaced and I would have to pay $580.  WHAT!?!  But she explained again what happened.  The girl hung up and called her a few minutes later.  They would cover that too.  NONE of this had been covered in my warranty.  I would have had to pay over 1000 to have this fixed.  I'm a lucky girl.  And Apple was really really nice and generous.  And my friend, Cecelia is an angel.  And I feel like a crazy person without my computer.  I just want it back.  The next hurdle:  figuring out how to get it here.  Someone will have to put a value on the package and someone in customs will charge me tax on this.  LOTS of tax on this computer.  IF I'm lucky I will still get it or someone could decide that they want my computer more and it will just disappear.  That would make me very sad.  I'm hesitant of course, because as you can read above...I had a LOT of lucky breaks in this!  Am I really entitled to anymore?  Am I willing to risk it?  What should I do? ???  I don't have plans to return to the states again until this summer.  Even those plans are still up in the air.

This incident just goes to prove that there are good people in the world...now if only we could avoid the bad ones.  That would be good.  That would be really good.