biting off heads....

I was so alarmingly frustrated today. Excessively so. I had to take a step back and evaluate what was happening. I came up with nothing. Then I almost reached through the phone and bit off my husbands head for nothing. I didn't know what was wrong with me.

Until a few minutes ago. Now I know. This morning I caught a glimpse of this:

Katie Holmes Broadway Debute

I had avoided reading about it all day. Do you know why? Because it is a pet peeve of mine that celebrities get to be on broadway just because they are celebrities. Normal actresses like me just have to audition and be rejected over and over again...but celebrities do not. I'm not a Katie Holmes fan. She is the same in everything she does...she isn't an actress, she is a celebrity and there is a distinct difference. One is an artist and a craftsmen...the other a face.

It gets way worse...I saw a clip and she was rancid...it was awful. Oh and even worse...her reviews aren't terrible, but not great. It is like the media doesn't want to give a 'real' critique because they are afraid of the Tom Cruise fallout. They say things like "she gives a good performance, just not to the level of her counterpart." Translation: she is bad but we don't have the guts to actually say it.

So, Ms. Katie Holmes, are you going to learn anything from your reviews by reading between the lines? Or will you think you did give a good performance. Certainly your AMAZING husband clapped hard enough to convince you that you were AMAZING and the play was AMAZING because there is no other actress anywhere near as AMAZING as you. Certainly that is why you got the part, right? Because you are such an AMAZING actress.

Am I bitter? Yes. Why? Because instead of putting up quality work with an experienced, qualified stage actress...they sold out. And they sold out on an Arthur Miller play. How disgusting is that? I know this isn't anything new...the great white way has been selling out for a long time now...it is just so frustrating to continue to see this trend. To see her get so much publicity over it. She isn't the main character, but bygolly she is in every shot.

WHY? When you can have your pick of actresses do you choose Katie Holmes to play the role of Ann Deever? Why? There are millions of actresses out there who you wouldn't have to worry about whether they could remember their stage direction (someone did imply she seemed to struggle with this at times) or not yell all their lines, or look like a high school student on a stage in front of a live audience for the first time. The thing about those "new" actors in HS and even college (I know, I taught a few) is that they have such difficulty relating to their characters because they are not yet comfortable with themselves. When I saw that clip...I immediately thought "Katie Holmes doesn't know herself."

If you don't know at least a few parts of yourself you have nothing to identify with and therefore nothing to share with your audience.

Ok - this is leading into a huge theoretical acting conversation that most of my readers will not understand and I'm being silly anyway. The fact is, I'm jealous. I'm jealous that it is so easy for some people to get where they are. And she has probably worked really hard, and truth be told I only saw one teeny clip which probably isn't enough for me to be able to say that she isn't any good, but I would like to believe it. For all of the hard working, no name, no face actresses out there like myself...I'm angry for you tonight!

and I'm frustrated for me...sitting in my house...planning vacations....but not a next production...and at times that makes me feel like I can't breathe. It is ridiculous that I should feel this way....

so I will stop....feeling this way....

over here in Oman....

where there is no real theatre...



ok, I'm not getting over this anytime soon. And that's the truth.