So, what is the deal with being told you look like a barbie doll in this country?
Since I got here, people have consistently told me that...from the guy in the McDonalds handing me my food to strangers in the aisles at the grocery store to every single person in the beauty industry (nail techs, hairstylists) is this meant to be some kind of compliment? They say it like it is...or is it meant to be a veiled insult?
Because frankly, I look NOTHING like Barbie...and I'm not plastic either...nor do I work hard enough at being pretty for someone to feel the need to compliment me...so I don't know what is really going on. It is just so....weird.
What do you say to this? "(giggles) Madame, you are so pretty, just like a barbie." All I can think to say is..."uh...thank you." When what I want to do is scream that beauty doesn't matter. I think there is something about this society that emphasizes beauty to the extreme. Most of the girls complimenting me have definitely used skin whiteners and wear shades of foundation about 2-3 shades too light...it is obvious and totally wrong looking. I have heard reports that there is so much plastic surgery done here that before a man agrees to marry a woman he insists on seeing pictures of her from her childhood through adolescence so that he can figure out what their children might look like because he doesn't want ugly children and he can't tell because of all the work that has been done. They have a ton of skin whiteners here. For a society that seems to want to cover women...they sure place a lot of emphasis on beauty. And I don't fall into the beauty category in my opinion, nor do I try. I go to the mall in regular clothes and people here dress up and get all smelly and spend hours just getting ready for the mall. THE MALL! Come on...most don't do a lot of shopping...they just mill around and look at other people. They want to see and be seen. I go to get things...not to look pretty or socialize. My guess is that "you look like a barbie" means "you have fair skin." I do. I have the skin that so many of them go to extremes to get. And they have the skintones that so many in America self tan or risk skin cancer to acheive...I just wish people could be happy with whatever skin color they happen to be.
BUT if it is an insult they are saying to me...give me some ideas on a response. If I came up with my own it would be totally lame and they probably wouldn't understand it...I would probably say "No I don't. She is plastic. Blonde. Hardwork, integrity and kindness are what really matter...not looking like Barbie." See. Lame and too long. I'm just a pretty lame person...and I don't look like Barbie! Hmmmph...footstomp!
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14 comments:
Unfortunatly, white skin is the ultimate standard of beauty. I think that Barbie is just an ingrained standard of white beauty that is known the world over, just because of how mass produced she (it?) is.
When my very white friend went to Vietnam, she had little girls running up to her just because they wanted to touch her skin and look at her blue eyes and freckles.
They would stroke her arms and just say *pretty*.
I don't think you look like Barbie, but you do have doll like features, and I mean that in a nice way.
You're gorgeous! Deal with it ;)
Believe me - it could be worse. What I mostly get is "you look good - SOOOO fat!"
Have you seen Veiled Barbie, aka Fulah?
And you're totally right about the plastic surgery thing - I never thought about it until I went to a college graduation. They projected photos of the students (male and female) as the went up on stage, and almost all were freshmen-year ID photos (i.e. between two and five years old). It seemed like at least 30% of the girls and not a few of the boys looked totally different - mostly noses on the girls, and ear-pinning and chin-implants on the boys.
AIO
White skin is the ultimate standard of beauty.
I beg to differ :D
Angry - Thanks for the compliment...I really wasn't looking for one - but I appreciate it. Mostly thanks for agreeing that I DON'T look like Barbie.
Muscato - Fat? They call you FAT? Unbelievable. Is this meant to be a compliment? So strange. You don't look fat in your photo ;)
KC - I think she meant that it is viewed as such around these parts, not that it is necessarily so.
Oh, yeah - especially for guys, fat is kind of a compliment. It's most common with ex-Zanzibaris, but not unusual from anyone....
Am, when you were a baby, we'd go shopping and people would call you a 'Mama Doll'. I never knew what that meant exactly--I just could tell it was a compliment by their demeanor, so I just thanked them and went on about my business.
In any case, apparently you are a DOLL, what sort of doll depends on what side of the world you're on, I suppose. But you're still a doll who stomps her foot...hmmm, I was hoping you might outgrow that... :)
Mom
Who are these people who tell you that you look like a barbie doll, are they Omanis?
The obsession with trying to be white or fair is something more common in Asia than it is here in the middle east. If you go to any drug store in the far east you will find a whole section full of fairness creams and all sorts of skin whitening stuff. Here in Oman, these creams like Fair and Lovely are bought mostly by Asian women. I remember a couple years ago my mother's Indonesian maid started getting blotches on her face and then it turned bright red. We thought she had a skin condition but then it turned out she was using a super strong whitening crea that was given to her by our neighbors Filipino maid. There are some ethnic groups in Oman who consider white skin to be a measure of beauty. And then there Dhofari women who use lots and lots of foundation cream and powder to make their faces appear so artificially white that it's just weird. But it's normal to them and they all do it.
As for plastic surgery, it is not very common in Oman- no where close to its popularity in other Arab countries especially Kuwait and Lebanon. It could be for economic reasons, maybe. It is still new to this society. In fact the first plastic surgery clinic in Oman was in Shatti Hospital just about ten years ago. I met a marketing executive for the largest plastic surgery clinic in Muscat last year and they were looking at ways to finance plastic surgery so that more women can afford it and then pay in installments. Apparently, plastic surgery loans are very popular in Lebanon.
Whoever told you about men asking for pictures of women from childhood. That sounds like such an exaggeration. I've never heard of anything like it. It probably happened, but it's not a common occurrence.
Okay, so whoa :)? You do NOT look anything like Barbie, Teresa maybe, lol. But my friend you are indeed gorgeous inside as well as out. I love reading your blog and I miss your face Barbiefied or not
muscati - Omani's yes. Asians, sri lankans...just about everyone but caucasian/Euro/American. At least here in Oman.
It is interesting that you said that about the plastic surgery. The people who told me about the pictures, etc., were a nice couple who has lived here for a while, one professionally interacts with the omani's from an international position and the other was degreed in Arab cultural and language. They had both lived here for some time doing research and learning specifically about the culture. So, you can see why I would believe them. Although, I don't know if it is true ... it could have been an exaggeration.
But then I look at the kids in my neighborhood and their mothers and fathers seem fairly nice looking - and they look ENTIRELY different and not so nice looking to put it fairly. Actually, homely.
Trish - thank you. I think about you all the time and wonder about the school and how things might have changed since the new principle came. I hope it is all positive, but there are always negative things that can happen when positive things come along. I've heard from a few of my students. I often worry that I killed the choir program...
Suggestion to Amber: Could you pls aid readability by tweaking fonts/colours on your blog? I am finding it difficult to read your posts.
Amber -
Being hot can be a curse ;)
I agree with Angry, White does seem to be a very desirable skin colour for the ladies here.... Muscati there's lots of skin whitening products on the shelves here, but I do concede that the obsession is more prevalent amongst Asian communities.
Just so we're clear, you're good looking, just not a Barbie!
:)
Things at school are amazingly good considering. There are naysayers of course, but for the most part it is awesome. The new boss is very open and accepting. As for you killing the choir program, so not true...the new teacher is doing that all on her own.
I have to second Muscati on the plastic surgery notion. Its very uncommon and an exaggeration that men ask to see childhood pictures. Some families who are still very conservative dont let their girls pluck and shape their eyebrows let alone plastic surgery which btw is considered a big no no in Islam if its for purely cosmetic reasons and not because of a birth defeact or for health reason or as a result of an injury. Look it up on google if you need to.
Wow - it looks like a tiny baby debate going on. Some think there is definite plastic surgery and some strongly disagree. The more I look into the subject the more I believe that there is indeed a unique prevelance towards it.
Anonymous - thanks for your compliments. I blush. I'm also tempted to put up a picture of me looking really rough...but I already have a few times ;) so I conclude that you are just a really nice person.
Kay and Muscati - I'm going to do a little undercover research in this and will report back later. Since one of the places I get the most compliments are in the high end beauty stores like Areej and that other store in the new City Centre...I will start there. Lines like La Prairie and Givenchy have specific whitening lines that are ONLY sold in the middle east, so this undercover girl is going to snoop around the stores and also contact the companies and see if I can talk to the PR and marketing department and find out who/what their demographics are for these particular products. And to make my follow up story to this debate even BETTER...I have a few omani's I might speak with concerning this matter. I just have to approach it delicately. Expect an official AMBER REPORT in about 1 weeks time on my findings.
The truth will be found ;) or at least poked and prodded a bit.
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