Pierced through the heart

When Angelina first moved in with us her ears were pierced...in the wrong place.  After we adopted her we got the right to decide what to do about it.  But we had another little girl.  When we first gave birth to Madelyn (or maybe it was before) David and I had the discussion about pierced ears.  We decided that it would happen when the girl was old enough and mature enough to ask to get it done all on her own.  We would not prompt or suggest.  When she asked we would make it happen.  So, naturally, since Angelina was so young we took her poorly placed earrings out and left it at that.  When she wanted them repierced, she would ask.  When Madelyn wanted earrings, she would ask.  Right?  

4 year age mark passed.

5 year age mark passed.

6 year age mark passed.

I started worrying.  

We decided to stick to the plan.

7 year age mark passed.

More worried.

8 year age mark passed.

Should I prompt them in any way?  No.  Wait.  It is the agreement.

Someone gave the girls some sticker earrings...I thought "FINALLY this will happen!"

Nope.

9 and 10 year age mark passed.

A friend gives them clip ons which they start wearing.

I am unable to hold it in any longer and start buying earrings for them under the radar from places like Prague (best place for crystals).

Christmas comes and I give them the matching necklace/bracelet and conveniently leave my jewelry box open so that they can 'find' the earrings on their own.

Still nothing.

I'm dying.  When will this rite of passage actually happen?!?

I actually GIVE THEM A PAIR of earrings.

The conversation comes up a little bit later after a few days of "mom's an idiot, our ears aren't pierced!"

There is fear of pain.  We assure the girls and also talk to them about being open to talk to us about these things.  It is decided it will happen this summer and that Angelina will go first. 

In the meantime, Angelina decides she will just repierce her ears herself with a needle.  Sigh.  In the bad holes.  So, now those are reopened (but I don't actually discover this until much later, but still prior to the new piercing.  This gives me a teensy taste of this girls independent streak and the tween issue of not talking to a parent about things like sticking needles in your ear.)

I'm completely excited!  And exhilarated!  And ready!

I thought.

 Then they put the mark on her ear and I started to panic.  And Madelyn was beside me and already crying.  And I was fighting back the tears.  I remembered suddenly how it felt.  I was excited to be sharing this with her (I didn't get her as a baby, so every little thing like this matters!)  My mommy heart was bursting!

 She is looking cute and brave.

 Still so brave.

 Ahhhhh!  Second earring in.  And I love this picture.  Look at Jacob in the background.  He looks agonized for his sister.  As was I.  As was Madelyn.  Madelyn was consistently losing it and I was whispering to Angelina "keep it together!  Your sister follows you!"

 And she did.  She pulled it together.

 Her sister was next.  I didn't get a lot of pictures of her prior to the first piercing because I was trying to calm her.

 DONE!  But not without completely ripping my heart out and making me feel completely guilty.

 Because I kind of DID give them a pair of earrings that they had no holes for.

 Trying to get Madelyn calm in front of the mirror...she was still howling long after the earrings were in.

 Both girls together.

 After begging for them to smile...this is what I got.  One smirkingly proud sister (afterall, she wasn't the one who completely lost it!) and one who...well, can you really call that a smile?  Oh well, it was the best I got at this point.

After this we had lots of hole infections.  It was pretty disgusting.  I don't know why.  But we cleaned and cleaned and discussed hygeine and whatever.  Angelina's are good now.  Madelyn's...not so much.  In fact, the mark the lady put on Madelyn's ears isn't where it actually went through.  It went in much too low...so we have decided that we will let the holes grow back and try again this summer.  Sigh.  I'm thinking it might not happen.  Although, she sure loved wearing earrings.  So maybe.

My heart.  So proud and aching.  This summer I am going to get us matching earrings.  Think they will let me?!?! hahahaha.